hahah

QOTD:

"How do you foil three terms?"
"You have to multiply every term by every term, like x times x, x times delta x, etc."
"You know, she could have given us bigger boxes."

QOTD #2:

meggis173: gay
meggis173: kinda like office supplies
SFS Emsterly: hahaha and the superbowl

sad, but in a good way.

I'm sitting here in an oversized hoodie and pajama pants, but I feel beautiful.

I just watched a movie that was so incredibly sad, but sad in a good way. It made me feel so much.

All I want is to feel alive. Through the entire movie, all I could think of was how much I want to tell everyone how much I love them, and how I want to see him, and not say a word, and just throw my arms around him and have him hug me back and just understand, and breathe him in and have time stand still and melt away. I want to cry and look at the stars and go on a roadtrip and be in love and have my heart broken and listen to music and feel infinite. I just want to feel something, for once. I want to be mad, and sad, because in the end, it always ends up being okay. I feel like my heart is going to burst out of my chest for lack of doing. I want to scream at the top of my lungs from every rooftop how in love I am with the world. I want to cry because of how much I love the sound of rain outside my window while I'm laying in bed, because of how much I love the shape of my horse's ears when she pricks them forward, how much I love thick eyelashes on boys, how much I love running into old friends, how much I love mix cds, how much I love Charlie because he's so real to me, how sad The Old Man and the Sea makes me. I'm wrapped in a whirlwind of life and all the particles of things that I love are surrounding me and I just want to float away. I want to stand in the rain and cry and get soaking wet and have everything be fixed because everything would be washed away. I want my eyeliner to run. I want him to find me in the rain and kiss away my tears and tell me he's loved me since the first day he saw me. And when "I love you" is burning behind my teeth, knocking them down and trying to slip through the spaces in between, I want to be able to let them out and not have it be "too soon too strong." I want to be ashes so I can be scattered over the Mississippi and play in the wind. I want to be able to tell that to someone without being thought crazy.

I'm full of this feeling and I just can't explain it. I'm so happy but I'm so sad. Wistful, maybe. I just want someone to share it all with. Someone to wrap me in their arms so I can feel safe and content, rather than feeling like I have to stand in the rain and scream because I'm being whirled away in a tornado of all the winds of my life.