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I've had a lot of thoughts flying around in my head over the past few days, and I want to get them out.
First of all, I'm sorry to everyone for being so melodramatic.
Last night in the few moments sandwiched between consciousness and subconsciousness, I was on the brink of figuring everything out. Then my phone rang on my bedside table and I lost it.
How do feelings so strong make the body so weak?
I think now that I've figured out what it is that I really want, and what I've been looking for all this time, and more importantly, now that I've allowed myself it...I've pushed achieving it further away than ever.
Today was my one-year anniversary at work. My boss took me out to lunch. Time goes by so fast.
My aunt wrote me an email. ( This ) is why she's awesome.
She reminds of like...a black motivational speaker. Haha.
The fact of the matter is that flirting, hooking up, first kisses, boys...it's all a drug. Love is a drug. Those little lightning bolts I feel with every strand of hair swept back from my face. The tingles up and down my spine. The obvious feelings of euphoria. Not knowing what will happen. Frantic kisses; can't get enough. It's a drug to me. I thought that I just fall in love easily (which means my heart gets broken easily), but that's not the case. I'm just addicted to a feeling, and I don't want to let go of a fix. ( I love these quotes )
I also think it's weird, and sad, and wrong that someone who you trusted more than anyone and vice versa, and someone who you felt infinitely close to, can become a total stranger in a split second. With a click of a mouse, in this case. But it has happened before, and it will happen again. And then there are those people that you're close to, but one little incident, and yeah, you still talk to them, but a door is closed somewhere. They never look at you the same way, you never connect with them the same way. The one thing you loved about them is closed to you forever. Christ, I'm crying right now. I miss it. I misshim. I miss them.
"I used to think that only death would take someone away from me. But I had learned that so many lesser things can steal someone away, just as completely, just as forever. They live, they breathe, but you never get to touch them, you never see them nude, you never wake up to their smile, the smell of their skin on your sheets. There are things so much less dramatic than death that are just as permanent."
First of all, I'm sorry to everyone for being so melodramatic.
Last night in the few moments sandwiched between consciousness and subconsciousness, I was on the brink of figuring everything out. Then my phone rang on my bedside table and I lost it.
How do feelings so strong make the body so weak?
I think now that I've figured out what it is that I really want, and what I've been looking for all this time, and more importantly, now that I've allowed myself it...I've pushed achieving it further away than ever.
Today was my one-year anniversary at work. My boss took me out to lunch. Time goes by so fast.
My aunt wrote me an email. ( This ) is why she's awesome.
She reminds of like...a black motivational speaker. Haha.
The fact of the matter is that flirting, hooking up, first kisses, boys...it's all a drug. Love is a drug. Those little lightning bolts I feel with every strand of hair swept back from my face. The tingles up and down my spine. The obvious feelings of euphoria. Not knowing what will happen. Frantic kisses; can't get enough. It's a drug to me. I thought that I just fall in love easily (which means my heart gets broken easily), but that's not the case. I'm just addicted to a feeling, and I don't want to let go of a fix. ( I love these quotes )
I also think it's weird, and sad, and wrong that someone who you trusted more than anyone and vice versa, and someone who you felt infinitely close to, can become a total stranger in a split second. With a click of a mouse, in this case. But it has happened before, and it will happen again. And then there are those people that you're close to, but one little incident, and yeah, you still talk to them, but a door is closed somewhere. They never look at you the same way, you never connect with them the same way. The one thing you loved about them is closed to you forever. Christ, I'm crying right now. I miss it. I miss
"I used to think that only death would take someone away from me. But I had learned that so many lesser things can steal someone away, just as completely, just as forever. They live, they breathe, but you never get to touch them, you never see them nude, you never wake up to their smile, the smell of their skin on your sheets. There are things so much less dramatic than death that are just as permanent."
